


tendons too torn to beg

by inkstainedknitter



Series: trans!dean fics [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Menstruation, Pre-Series, Teen Winchesters, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 16:23:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1864458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkstainedknitter/pseuds/inkstainedknitter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dean’s thirteen when he wakes up to find blood on the sheets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tendons too torn to beg

"oh fuck, oh  _fuck_.” dean’s thirteen when he wakes up to find blood on the sheets. he’s confused at first because he didn’t go to bed hurt but then he realizes what’s going on and he wants to puke. there’s a tightness in his chest at the sight of blood because i _t’s wrong_  but sammy will be getting up soon so he has to get over this. 

he showers, closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to see the blood mixing with water down the drain. his boxers are ruined but he soaks them in the bathroom sink anyway because they can’t afford to buy new ones. he wads up toilet paper and wraps more of it around his underwear, hoping it’ll last long enough for him to get sammy up and off to school.

before he leaves the bathroom he folds his stained, wet boxers in with his towel and hangs it on the rack again. he doesn't want sammy to find them, doesn't want to acknowledge that  _this_ is happening to him. 

his early morning freak out cost him too much time, sammy’s already awake by the time dean gets out of the bathroom. there’s not much left in the cupboards, but there’s enough cereal to get sam through breakfast for the next couple of days if dean doesn’t eat and he makes a pb&j for sammy’s school lunch with the last of the peanut butter. he’s not sure what they’ll do for dinner but they’ve got fifteen dollars left and he can stretch that as far as he needs to over the next few days.

sam wants to know why dean isn’t going to school but dean dramatically fakes an illness until sam laughs despite himself, and dean promises he’ll go to school tomorrow. dad’s supposed to be home in a couple of days, so even if he didn’t show up to school, it won’t bring CPS on their tails.

once he gets sam to school, dean steels himself for a trip to the convenience store down the street from the motel. if dad doesn’t come home when he said he would, dean will be in trouble because after he buys spaghetti o’s and bread and … other things, he’s not going to be able to cover much else. he spends too much time standing in the “feminine hygiene” section, wishing the earth would open up and swallow him whole because he’s sure that _everyone can tell_. he ends up just grabbing the cheapest pads and tampons and throwing them in with the rest of his basket. the woman at the checkout looks at him and he ducks his head in embarrassment.

by the time he’s standing outside sammy’s school waiting for the kid to get out, dean is tired and frustrated. he had to take another shower when he got back from his grocery run, desperate to feel clean, and he’d bled through the toilet paper, although thankfully, not to the point where he’d stained his jeans. but he’s tired and in pain and feels like he’s crawling out of his goddamn skin, so he’s really fricking glad to see sam walking down the sidewalk with his bookbag and his hair in his eyes because he refuses to let dad or dean cut it.

by the time dad gets back, only a day late, dean’s adjusted. mostly. he hides his stuff at the bottom of his bag and doesn’t breathe a word of it to anyone. he figures that after a couple months, dad probably has some idea of what’s going on, but the first person dean tells is bobby, half a year later, after he’s caught by surprise and ends up bleeding on bobby’s sheets and can’t get them into the washing machine without being noticed. 

sam figures it out after he wakes up in the middle of the night to dean tossing and turning in bed trying to find a comfortable position because it feels like he’s being stabbed but they can’t waste the pain meds and he’s exhausted and frustrated and tries to lie but sam can’t leave well enough alone. 

in three years, bobby will sit him down and teach dean how to inject himself with testosterone, and eventually the bleeding will stop.

until then, it's just one more way his body reminds him that it shouldn't be  _his._


End file.
